it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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