I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
