I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
