Welp...herpes.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
