yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
