is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
