It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
