i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i drank out of a bidet.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
