New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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