Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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