I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
