OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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