I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize