I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
