I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We were destined to go to rehab together
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize