im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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