thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
