So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
