I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
