EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
