i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
