I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Pants are for mortals
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