great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
