mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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