"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
