so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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