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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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