I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i think i just lost a toe
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
