On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
