i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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