I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Your cock deserves a montage
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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