The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
