Nicole vs. Life
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
