But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
