i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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