yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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