god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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