I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
