to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Even my vagina gasped.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
