after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize