theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
