I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize