He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
