yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
