sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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