i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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