So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
