my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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