my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
