TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
handjob tips. give me some.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I will pee on everything he values.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
