is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
