I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
