went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
