Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry dazed_confused76 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!

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(641): View more from Iowa

I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.

(1-641): View more from Iowa

What did he say?

(641): View more from Iowa

He still asked if I want a home security system.

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