it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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