he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Your cock deserves a montage
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
