Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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