i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
