you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
