Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
