no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Randomize
