Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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